Preserving Your History

It’s Father’s Day next week. What a perfect time to sit down and ask your dad….what? What are the things that you would need or would want to know if he wasn’t around? Do you know why he lives where he does? Do you know how he met your mother? Do you know what he was called when he was a kid?

There are so many different guides that give you questions to ask in an interview. But one of the best is from StoryCorps, the NPR sponsored radio show that records people talking about their lives. You can download their list of great interview questions from their website.

Take your dad to a quiet room, set up a camera or a tape recorder and start. It doesn’t even need to be all about him. My favorite question is what is your favorite memory of me? My dad told me many times about his favorite memory of me when I was 3 years old. We were in a hotel room in Florida and I was feeling sick. He was sitting with me trying to feed me chicken noodle soup. I looked at him and said “Hello cuckoo-face.” A fairly average moment, but he loved it. And he savored it enough to tell me about it years later.

Start your own conversation.

Do you have a story to tell? Have you thought about writing it down but talked yourself out of it? “No one would want to hear my story.” Not true! Maybe you just need some help to get started.

I would recommend you pick up a copy of “My Words Are Gonna Linger – The Art of Personal History” the anthology of life stories put together by the Association of Personal Historians (of which I’m a proud member). There are 49 stories gathered or written by the members of this organization. These tales range from lighthearted to deeply moving and personal. All show why it’s important to tell your story. (While you are at the website ordering your book, you can also pick up some practical tips for writing life stories. )

Your story is important. Get busy.

The letter was dated August 3rd 1934 and began:

“Madam, I am directed to inform you that the decision to remove your son
from the Indian Civil Service was reached by the Secretary of State for
India after careful consideration of the results of an inquery into his
conduct and the decision must be regarded as final. Owing to your son’s
health it has not yet been possible to notify him personally but this will
be done as soon as his mental condition has sufficiently improved to render
it practicable to communicate with him.”

A year later a letter from the Medical Superintendent of an English mental
institution concluded, “I am afraid I cannot agree that your son has
improved so much that he is fit to be outside. He still has many peculiar
ideas and is very irrational in his conduct…he has quite recently made
unprovoked attacks on other inoffensive patients. He resents control and I
am sure he is quite unfit to be in a private house.”

Hidden within plain sight in a carved wooden box on my mother’s bureau
these letters introduced me to an uncle I never knew existed. I wish my
mother could have have answered the many questions these letters triggered
but her fragile mind had locked secrets away long ago and she was never
able to retrieve them.

Have you ever asked the relatives or friends you grew up with if you could take a look at their home videos and photos?

Over the past few years, I have created several tribute videos for aunts and uncles. In order to accomplish this, I had to get photos and video from my cousins.  While combing hours of their family’s home movies, I ran across this hilarious clip of my mom and dad hamming it up in Halloween costumes. I had never seen it and neither had any of my siblings. Throughout this mile of footage, I found all sorts of precious history as the years of birthdays, Christmases and summer vacations played out in front of me. And I learned a lot about my cousins and their family watching them grow up again on my screen.

When searching for your history, don’t forget that there are treasures hiding. And not just in the shoeboxes under your bed.

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